It’s so in my nature to first get out the junk and the No’s and what I did wrong, as if clearing away the dust and dirt, to then see what I did right. Or what was still so okay about Christmas 2012.
So, The Good:
With sleep and some distance it’s starting to come to mind. The tree was really beautiful. The one in our family or great room. It’s just the biggest, and most stark room in the house and I love how crystal clear (and free of clutter!) it feels.
I love our ornaments. I love our stockings and this one bright, twinkly wreath. The kids adored and enjoyed it as well. They did poop out from Christmas gifts but this is also my memory from when I was a kid and my Aunt Audrey gave us, me and my sister, Christmas. She wrapped so many gifts: plastic pretend jewelry, bath soaps, Walkie Talkies. We were so lucky. My Grandmother Rose watched football. We all hung out and ate a grand meal – turkey I think. She made sugar cookies with sprinkles on them, like the ones we did for Santa this year.
Our Aunt Martha and Uncle Alex came up from Philadelphia. My parents were there. We were a full house the 24th and 25th, which felt Good. I am afraid to say Perfect. The cult of perfectionism I know I’m a goner for. No one can stage an intervention or de-brainwash me. Ya. Christmas presents the ultimate challenge, not only to get exactly down to the last painted polka dot coloring on a desired object, but then to wrap it as if on a window display at Barney’s. Or not… The jury’s still out on how far to go wrapping a gift for someone under seven.
Ya. The food: yummy. The stockings: full. My feet: weary. My mood: okay.
Now, we stare at another “brand new” year: 2013. I have to avert my eyes from the news or else I will feel all depressed about the fiscal cliff and gun control — will it ever truly pass? And subway pushings and the like.
I need a clear new slate. I want: to take care of myself in 2013. To take care of my own needs enough to have the Christmas spirit year through. I want time and space and de-cluttering. I want Peace within. Clarity. Space. Rest.
I hope for the kids: self-worth, dignity, laughter at no one else’s expense. Joy, rest and Peace as well.
I hope for Fotis: a successful year skiing, at work, with the kids, and us.
I hope for my father: the absence of dis-ease. For Alex and Martha: strong new clients. For the parents of Newtown, to feel God’s hand at work within the caring and the tending. As people care for them, let them feel His holy presence. And to all of us, may we bask in the light of the Good.
