Next year: I will shop and wrap by December 1. Next year, I will limit the gifts and not have children panting from an unwrap-athon frenzy. We will instead take time on the 25th to be with each other. To breathe each other in. To enjoy one another.
This year was of course a mad dash. Plus some added pressure of caring for 5 young kids who are on Christmas break. Plus packing to go away skiing on the 26th. Me madly tossing out the trash as quickly as they could unwrap and make it. Trying to keep an edge on the house.
I lost. I won. I lost time, energy. Next year, I will go away at some other time.
I also did it/Xmas but was not there. I performed and got the A’s but did not slow down — at all! There was no time to slow down.
Next year, perhaps. Me hopes. They all had a grand time. Santa came in person in the 24th just to say hi and to give them each what they really truly (exactly!) wanted. It was a success — out there. I am still having PTSD. It will sink in: someday. The whole day.
I just wish somehow to slow down my life. Pause it. Take a soak. But I find it hard to do this.
I soaked in the tub tonight. I want to go to bed early, here at Mountain Time. I want to be more in one Whole piece.
I wish to grant my life more time.
